God's Kitchen by Massimo Castagna

I like to think that one day, after I have been immortalised by having a wing on the Design Museum with my name on it [and possibly a few statues of me looking wise and authoritative], I'll be pretty content louching around the ultimate hotel suite that lies behind those pearly gates.

Like the Delano hotel in Miami, it'll be all white sheer curtains, Barcelona chairs and minimalist chandeliers by Luceplan. I'd drift from bathing in the ethereal light, reclining on Eames La Chaises, to perching, bare footed on Yanagi butterfly stools carelessly tucking in to guilt-free pasta liberally accompanied with veal, truffles and grana padano. And Krug.

Well, God's kitchen had better be prepared, because the only pot suitable for preparing pasta worthy of the heavens is the pictured glass variety designed by Massimo Castagna for Knindustrie. Deus, most certainly, ex disegno. But to be sure, perhaps it's better to give it test down on earth first...

Got Miso? - Tasty Design Essentials

There's an age old stereotype of us Brits going on holiday with suitcases packed full of ketchup, beans, and hobnobs. While I can't say that I've ever tested the ability of a concierge to summon a can of Heinz's finest at a moment's notice, there may be something to be said for the concept of 'Bring Your Own'.

Recently I've discovered the exceptional single serve miso packs from Miso Tasty. Unlike other incarnations of the super-soup that are typically found on the hard-carved organic shelves of moonlit feng-shui'ed health food stores; in packaging that has the appeal of a damp leaf(?) of seaweed, Miso Tasty looks achingly smart with monogrammed origami-like packaging that's made in Italy. Design win.

Something savoury to go with your cashews in the Concorde Room? Post gym pick me up? Secret weapon for a marathon session of back to back meetings? Over the past few months, I've had Miso Tasty by my side from Dusseldorf to Doha. The spicy aka variety is fermented for 12 months and along with the classic shiro miso, features a sachet of seasoning, wakame and spring onions that stay separate from the miso paste. Brilliant flavor, brilliant design and second only to my passport when packing a suitcase.

The Design Diet - Part III

Good design helps you stay in shape. We've proved what a delight it is to work off calories with the Waterrower, and also that ceramic pans with bamboo handles are so beautiful that you'll never want to actually use them. But what about the source of those pesky calories?

Opting for larder doors that are glazed, inevitably invites you [and you guests... and your domestics] to take a good look at what you're consuming. Glazed larders not only demand the procurement of the very finest packaged foods, but invariably such foods will weigh heavily on the wallet; discouraging you from actually breaking in to their attractively sealed contents [that, and anyone desperate enough to make an entire meal out of truffle oil, olives and wheatberries probably deserves a few kcal]

Big Cheers for Quiet Design

Somebody once told me "if the Death Star had a tube station, it'd be Westminster"; and anyone who has passed through the terminus will know this holds true. It's a monolithic concrete bunker with cantilevered steel beams, industrial uplighters and scissored escalators. Subtle it is not.

In this respect, if the Death Star needed a vacuum cleaner, it'd be spoilt for choice. Almost every bagless cyclone machine on the market seems to have several dozen conical protrusions and articulated joints, with flashes of patronising neon colours around every gasket, bolt and wheel nut.

We're not designing Lloyds of London here. Vacuum cleaners should be more like the well turned out domestic staff that use them; unobtrusive, quiet and reliable. It's why I was drawn to the top of the range Mach Zen 2 by British firm Vax.

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If Laura Ashley did Industrial Chic

As Ultraloft renovations get underway, stripping back unbearably dull kitchen tiles revealed the most remarkable surface. Artifacts of the construction and previous tiles create a bohemian patchwork of the most interesting colourway. Warm and peachy plaster, cool duck-egg blue and textured grouts in taupe and white. It looks masterful paired with the smooth carrara marble workstops specified for the design.

In a moment of crazed inspiration, instructing the tiler to down tools and get a protective clear glass splashback to protect the sacred discovery would seem like a smart idea. If Laura Ashley did 'reproduction warehouse chic' it would probably look like this [and cost more than said marble]. Alas however, the effect might be lost on those who don't appreciate nonchalant chic.

Prague Invaded by Italy, Brother & Duck

Design Trawler's predicted 'revolution of pattern' is gaining momentum. Advancing north from Italy and in to Prague's Vinohradsky Pavilion are these intoxicating graphical tiles. Patricia Urquiola uses an innovative digital on cement technique for Mutina that torpedoes the plain and austere.

Paired with cool greys, green foliage and the frosted glass doors, pictured, Brother & Duck strike a contemporary yet classic balance for the Pavilion. At over €140 a meter, nobody said being at the cutting edge of design is cheap, but similar styles are already filtering through to clued-in retailers in the UK.

MamSam Miso Mugs

Ever since visiting the Warsaw museum dedicated to Polish Cold War Neon, I've become rather hooked on graphic typography and enigmatic shiny symbols. Just as well, as there seems to be no shortage of design objects in the city that put the neon vernacular to good use.

These ceramic cups [or miso mugs as I like to call them] from MamSam mix an interesting range of type and logotype with luxurious gold and black lacquer detailing. Far from the austere or nonchalantly hip, they look menacingly luxurious on the carrara worktops of the Ultraloft.

Blue Bentleys & Herringbone Bolsters

I have fond memories of being carted off to jumble sales at the Great Barn in Ruislip as a child. Rummaging through crates of bric-à-brac, like a young Indiana Jones to chance upon a... well, I haven't the foggiest what I ever chanced upon, as nothing in my collection hails from the 700 year old cow-shed. But the seed, or rather feed, was sewn nonetheless.

Enjoyable as sifting through curios at the Place du Jeu de Balle today may be, the experience is, like those early childhood adventures, largely folly and seldom fruitful. Unlike the Spring Clean event held to support charity Kids Company...

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Furniture as Metaphor - The Grand Piano

Almost four years ago I coined the term 'furniture as metaphor' in reference to a black lacquer sideboard that abstractly referenced an elegant upright piano. The point being that in an environment where a piano wouldn't look out of place, referencing it with an object made from similar materials is a clever visual trick.

Having taken delivery of a smart new dining table for Ultraloft, the same phenomenon appears to have materialised. This time in the form of a much larger, grand piano. A quick glance at said altar, with it's deep and sweeping plateau provides a remarkable likeness to a Steinway's rear end. That, or I'm inadvertently revealing a Freudian fixation with lacquer, ivory and tailcoats.

Trawler to Raise $25,000 for Flying Residence

Ben Schlappig is a Trawler that puts the number of miles undertaken by even Design Trawler to shame; using airmiles, he's reviewed pretty much every first class airline offering in the world through his website One Mile at a Time. But this Sunday, Etihad announced a game changer amongst first class products. A three room flying apartment. 'The Residence' features a private en-suite with shower, double bedroom and lounge for two with a dedicated Savoy trained personal butler.

The design of looks promising; contemporary yet authentic to the Emirati aesthetic. It uses modern geometric pattern, a subtle yet masculine pallet and Poltrona Frau upholstered leather. At more than twice the price of Concorde, the $20,000 one way trip is unlikely to get a review any time soon however.

Because of this [and because Design Trawler isn't headed to Abu Dhabi in the near future], Ben is attempting to raise the funds needed for a commercial ticket on crowd funding website Kickstarter. From one Trawler to another, credit where it's due Ben! You've got my backing and I look forward to the full review soon. Support Ben's campaign here.

Fire in the Hole!

I spotted this smart alternative to a grand fireplace at this year's Maison in Paris. When retrofitting a gigantic marshmallow-toaster isn't appropriate and integrated bioethanol flames too, are difficult, a simple hole in the wall can replicate a cozy corner.

An inset needs only to be candle deep, painted black and voilà. Design as metaphor strikes again. The eye sees a hole in the wall filled with fire, the brain thinks 'fireplace' and you can invest the money you've saved in £9,000 toasting forks for your evening nibbles.

How to Steal a Damien Hirst

Not content with only one Damien Hirst in the Ultraloft, Design Trawler set out to acquire a slightly larger masterpiece by the enfant terrible of the contemporary art world. Here's how he did it.

The artwork in question is a limited edition butterfly design on silk released by Damien Hirst in late 2013. A combination of delicate butterfly wings with four skulls arranged in a kaleidoscope of intricate pattern. Its location? Mayfair, naturally - The flagship Alexander McQueen boutique on London's Old Bond Street. Accomplices? five in total, starting with the sales assistant...

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Honey, I Froze Le Corbusier

It has to be the revelation of the year century. On a scale to be rivalled by Dan Brown novels set in St. Peter's Basilica. For around 100 years ago, a man called Peter Behrens was hired by a German engineering company to the position of 'Articstic Consultant'. Alongside the logotype and corporate identity, Behrens designed the firm's iconic turbine factory in Berlin, and also a significant number of it's products. Peter Behrens is considered to be the world's first industrial designer. The savvy German engineering company that hired him was AEG.

So that puts AEG at the very top of the design family tree. Neat. They make well engineered home appliances [Ultraloft's new shiny fridge freezer, pictured] and consumer electronics. Having something with the AEG moniker around the Ultraloft gives me a warm comfortable feeling of buying in to that design pedigree. That was until, I did a little more research and fell backwards out of my [EA105] chair.

You may want to anchor yourself to the floor... It wasn't just Behrens, father of industrial design that worked for AEG. Miles van der Rohe, creator of the iconic Barcelona chair worked for Behrens at AEG. Walter Gropius too, later to become the first director of the Bauhaus worked for AEG. And the revelation that sent me plummeting, sternforemost to the floor, is that, the being conceived as the perfect, omnipotent, omniscient originator and ruler of the universe, principal object of faith and worship at Design Trawler, Le Corbusier, worked alongside Behrens, Gropius, and Mies at AEG.

The three letters AEG aren't just a nod toward innovative German engineering. They represent a perfect storm; a fantasy dream team of everything design, and architecture, and efficiency should be. And is.

Foothills of Mount Fuji

As the seasons begin to change, I begin also, to turn my attentions to the next room renovation in Ultraloft. The guest bathroom will be a light, clean, and natural space inspired by the paired back Japanese aesthetic... Primarily, so that I can install a Toto washlet, and surprise guests with a high-tech toilet.

Until the buldozers and pricey porcelain arrive however, I'm evoking an eastern spirit with these wall mounted planters. Selecting fern, pine and bamboo as suitably reflective of the zen-line shrubbery likely to line the foothills of Mount Fuji, the boxes from Concoral also double up as shelves; perfect for Marks & Web mandarin salts, and metallic flames from Tom Dixon.

Calling Time on Taxidermy

Monochromatic fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld famously said that "trendy is the last stage before tacky". Well, taxidermy has certainly been trendy for a while, and whatever your opinion of plywood deer heads on gastropub walls, this homage from Maison & Objet in Paris made me chuckle.

Perfectly straddling the lines between trendy and tacky, the Jean Paul Gaultier inspired mâché walrus bust is topped off with a kitch cap from the French Naval Marines [complete with obligatory red pom pom]. Mounted on an equally J.P.G. striped background, I'm not sure it'll be featuring in forthcoming artist's Barbican retrospective. That said, animal forms have an enduring and iconic place in design. So, is taxidermy dead? By definition, it always was. And it isn't going anywhere soon.